People who experience sexual misconduct may have varied emotions, and no two victims will respond the same way. There are some "red flag" indicators that your friend has experienced sexual misconduct:

• Depressed or irritable mood
• Loss if interest in most activities
• Changes in sleep patterns (sleeping a lot, or difficulty sleeping)
• Changes in appetite or weight
• Changes in energy level, exhaustion
• Nightmares, flashbacks
• Fear for one's own safety
• Withdrawal from family and friends
• Excessive guilt, self-blame, or feelings of worthlessness
• Difficulty concentrating
• Anxiety
• Thoughts of suicide
• Being excessively alert and easily startled
• General mistrust

Here are some steps you can take to help your friend:

• Believe them. Avoid probing questions, skepticism, or criticism. Expect confusion.
• Offer support. Let them know they are not alone, offer your time, and share available resources.
• Avoid blame. Remind them it is not their fault. Don’t search for things they “should have done.”
• Empower them. Help them understand options, let them make decisions, and offer support.
• Ask what they need. Don’t guess—discuss the kind of support they want, and check in regularly.
• Share concerns directly. If you see serious problems, gently provide evidence to help them consider realistic options.
• Seek professional help. A trained therapist may be essential. They may also need academic, housing, or safety adjustments.
• Include others. Don’t try to solve everything alone. Let trained professionals guide intervention to help your friend learn coping skills.

If someone you know within the LRSC community has experienced sexual misconduct, we can help you help them. Sometimes, the most valuable advice comes from someone the individual already trusts. Whether you are a friend, roommate, parent, or faculty or staff member, we can connect you with resources. We also provide support throughout the process.

1. Listen

   • Confirm safety. Ask, “Are you safe right now?” If not, help them reach a safe place and call 911 if needed.

   • Provide support. Stay nonjudgmental. Your role is to listen and refer them to trained professionals for assistance or intervention.

2. Refer

   • Assist the person in obtaining medical care if needed.

   • Help them decide whether to report to the police or the college.

   • Connect them with confidential on- or off-campus counseling and advocacy resources.

   • Refer them to the LRSC contact for interim measures, such as no-contact directives, housing changes, schedule adjustments, or time off.

3. Report, as required
   All LRSC employees, including student, are responsible employees required to report sexual misconduct. You should explain these reporting duties to anyone who discloses information to you.

You are not expected to act as a counselor. However, when someone has experienced sexual misconduct, your support can be critical to their healing. Though there is no single “right” response, the following may serve as a guide to more or less helpful responses.

What you can do:

• Give the victim your complete attention.
• Validate the victim’s feelings.
• Tell the victim:
  • “Your health and safety are my priority.”
  • “I am sorry this happened to you.”
  • “This was not your fault.”
  • “You have options.”
  • “Thank you for coming forward.”
  • “Let’s take this one step at a time.”
• Offer the victim options:
  • “Where would you like to sit or would you like to stand?”
  • “Is it okay if I sit here?”
  • “Can I get you something?”
  • “Would you like to call someone for support?”
• Ask the victim what they need.
• Provide the victim with information about the resources available to them, including confidential counseling, medical resources and reporting resources.
• Suggest to the victim that they preserve evidence.
• Follow up with the victim.
• Report the incident to the appropriate Title IX Coordinator if you are a college employee.
• Take care of yourself after dealing with the situation. Get support for yourself if you need it. Consider speaking with a confidential counselor.

What you shouldn't do:

• Tell the victim that you know what they are going through.
• Label the experience for the victim or make any legal conclusions.
• Minimize the victim’s experience (e.g. that’s just how that person is.)
• Tell the victim what they should do or make decisions for them.
• Ask the victim questions that suggest they are to blame (e.g. What were you drinking? What were you wearing? Why didn’t you run? What were you doing in that place?)
• Question whether the victim is telling the truth or show doubt about their story.
• Tell the victim that they need some proof or evidence.
• Touch the victim’s leg, shoulder, hand, etc. unless they have explicitly told you that it is okay to do so.
• Talk about your own issues or history.
• Guarantee complete confidentiality, particularly if you are a responsible employee with a reporting obligation.
• Panic. Take a deep breath and focus on listening to the victim.